


I Ain't Got Nothing If I Ain't Got (You)

by HunterByDayWhovianByNight



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Declarations Of Love, Enthusiastic Consent, First Time, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Post-Canon, sort of roommate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 00:42:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12047739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterByDayWhovianByNight/pseuds/HunterByDayWhovianByNight
Summary: “I love love. I love having a lover and being one. The insularity of passion. I love it. I love the way it blurs the distinction between everyone who isn't one's lover.” - Tom StoppardIt only took forever for them to say it.





	I Ain't Got Nothing If I Ain't Got (You)

**Author's Note:**

> I have been working on this fic and chipping away at it for about ten months. I'm proud to say it's completed, mostly because of the Newsies musical being put up on Netflix last week; I'd be lying if I didn't say that this fic was pushed along by its release. Parts of this story are inspired by the 1992 movie, so that's why it's been tagged in here as well. Title is from "Santa Fe" and I don't own the characters. 
> 
> ~Hunter

It had been almost a year since the strike. Jack and David had started to see a little less of each other during the day since David went back to school, but Jack still came over every night at Esther’s request for dinner, sometimes a warm bed and a bath. Katherine and Jack had long since decided that when they had kissed, they were both just fired up with adrenaline and in the moment, it simply felt like the right thing to do.

But now, David had finished school and Jack had decided that he was getting too old to sell papers; he wanted a real, steady job where he could make a living and stay in New York with his friends and second family, offer food and a home for those who needed it. David wanted to go to college for literature or journalism or both, and when he'd applied to NYU, he got in. Jack was there when he'd opened the letter. He could remember it like yesterday.

~~~~~

_“Jack!” David called out as he sorted through his mail. His letter from NYU had came that day and he could feel his anxiety mounting up as he waved it in the air to show to Jack._

_“Your NYU letter?” Jack asked, his accent heavier than before; it secretly made David's knees weak._

_“Yeah,” David smiled widely. He didn't wait for Jack to say another word before he tore the envelope and let it fall to the floor; all he wanted was to read the letter._

_When David's eyes fell upon the words “you have been accepted” David felt as if he was going to cry. He smiled bigger than ever before and looked up to Jack with joy in his eyes- Jack could tell David had gotten in without him having to say a word. He knew his Davey, he was a smart guy and perfectly capable of getting into a nice college. Jack gave him a smile in return and pulled him in for a tight hug, one that David returned immediately while smiling into Jack’s chest and letting Jack bury his face in his dark hair._

_David looked up at Jack like he was going to kiss him; he couldn't bring himself to do it._

_Not yet._

_~~~~~_

Jack found a job, a decent one, working at a little restaurant. He wanted the job partly because of the independence it brought him, but all he could think of was pleasing David. He knew David would be proud; he'd hinted at Jack getting a job or maybe going back to school before. Part of him always did something for David, or Davey as he called him. It’s just that David was so smart and opinionated and intelligent and _definitely_ not queer. Whenever Jack stayed over at David’s and they slept beside each other at night, Jack had to sleep with his body away from David’s so that he wouldn’t press up against him or have David feel how hard he was some mornings when he woke up. When David was asleep, stray black locks fell over the pillow and into his eyes; the few freckles he had stood out prominently on his cheeks and nose; his pink lips that Jack dreamed about kissing more than he ever dreamed about Santa Fe were parted and open. Perfectly kissable, in fact, if Jack had to admit.

He didn’t feel guilty, okay, _too_ guilty about observing David as he slept; David didn’t know he was doing it in the first place. It was only when David was awake and changing out of his nightshirt and into his school clothes and Jack stole glances of David’s body that he felt dirty. David wasn’t built or muscular like some of the other boys, he was lanky and thin; his arms and thighs, though, Jack noted, were strong. Jack wanted those strong thighs around his waist, those arms around his shoulders, that torso pressed up against him. And more than ever, he wanted to silence that mouth that never stopped talking with kisses- searing, passionate, loving, sweet; David deserved all kinds of kisses. Not that Jack would actually ever kiss him. Unless he asked. Then he would _definitely_ kiss him.

~~~~~

Mayer was the one who suggested that David and Jack live together.

“It only makes sense! You two are both out making names for yourself and getting out there. If you two live together then you can save money. Plenty of bachelors in New York share apartments,” Mayer announced over dinner the week before David started at NYU.

“Imagine that, Davey: the two of us livin’ together,” Jack said with his beaming grin and sparkling eyes. It made David's heart flutter in his chest when Jack made eye contact with him and give him what looked like a wink.

“The two of them practically _do_ live together already. They’re more like brothers than anything,” Esther affirmed, taking the plates from the table.

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t oppose to living with ya, Jack. Just so long as you don’t mind me studying all the time,” David said, clinging to the edge of his seat and hoping Jack would oblige. He knew Jack would. Jack was his best friend, and they were closer to each other than David had ever been with someone.

“I think I can manage livin’ with ya,” Jack said with a smirk, turning his head towards David in order to face him.

Jack actually winked at him that time.

~~~~~

It only took Jack a few days to find a suitable apartment for him and David; it was near his work and NYU, so it was the best possible choice for the pair to live. The down payment was made with some of the money Jack had saved up and with a little help from David's parents. Jack couldn't help but feel a sense of pride when he saw David's face light up as he looked around the rooms.

He finally turned to Jack and gripped his biceps. “It's great, Jack. You couldn't have chosen something better,” David said with the biggest smile on his face and a bear hug. Jack stood stunned for a moment until he, too, wrapped his arms around David and hugged him back. It felt nice for both boys, the warmth and closeness of the moment both welcomed and comforting.

David only pulled away, albeit reluctantly, once he realized that he may have been hugging Jack for a bit too long. A blush was hot on his cheeks, and judging by the way Jack was looking downward, he was blushing too.

“I'm moved in already, I can help you move in tomorrow or later,” Jack offered once he could find words again. He shoved his hands in his pockets, not really knowing what to do with them, especially after being so close to David. He could've kissed him they were so close. Even after they had ended their embrace, Jack could feel the warmth of David's body.

“I'd appreciate that, thanks, Jack,” David replied, his smile bigger and brighter than the sun. David really was excited to start living with Jack, and he hoped they could get closer (in more ways than one) now that they lived together. Maybe, just maybe, David could work up the courage and use his words like he always did and tell Jack that he liked him a lot more than just as a friend. That he wanted to kiss him, that he wanted to whisper little “I love you's” to him, that he wanted to feel his body pressed against his own.

One day he'd tell him. One day.

~~~~~

Jack produced a bottle of whiskey when they finished bringing in David's cases and boxes into their apartment. It had two bedrooms, and Jack had given David the larger of the two to fit a desk. David had even blushed when Jack said that was the reason for letting David have the larger room. But now, they were both sitting on the loveseat in the main area of the apartment, legs pressed against each other and faces so close they could feel each other's breath.

“You know what, Davey?” Jack giggled in his buzzed state.

“What, Jack?”

“I just remembered when you refused to shake on our selling deal that first day we met,” Jack mused, looking right into David's wide green eyes. “And by the end of it, you had turned into one of us. Now look at you: you're in college and are gonna go off and do great, amazing things.”

David chuckled, the area around his eyes crinkling and his smile lighting up the room even more. Jack couldn't help but gaze at him, and didn't even bother to stop looking at him when David opened his eyes again. David realized after a moment that Jack was staring at him, and couldn't help but lick his lips. _God,_ David looked irresistible when he did that; Jack flicked his eyes down to David's lips for a brief moment and back up to his eyes.

“Jack?”

“Davey?”

“I think I know what you want to do,” David said, a hot blush coloring his freckled cheeks red. He cast his eyes down, but Jack ducked his head to meet his eyes. Jack timidly reached forward towards David's chin and slowly, _slowly,_ pulled his thumb down and across David's plump lower lip. David's heart hammered in his chest and he could practically feel Jack’s lips on his. He _wanted_ Jack’s lips on his.

“You'd let me, Davey?” Jack asked, voice shaky and eyes glued on David's. David reached a hand behind Jack’s head to his short brown hair and cemented it there.

“Of course,” David said, and pulled Jack's head close for a kiss. The kiss was a bit awkward at first, just a press of their lips together, but then Jack started to move and David felt like he was melting and he moved his lips back, wanting more than anything to have Jack's mouth on his neck. Jack placed his hands gently on David's hips, urging him to come closer, and with a bit of maneuvering, David was in Jack's lap and pressing him down onto the couch. As much as he tried, Jack couldn't help but feel himself grow hard in his trousers.

“You don't know how long I wanted this,” Jack said when they had broken apart. “Thought about us doing this, and a little more.” Jack pulled David's shirt from his trousers and slipped it up to feel the hot skin of his back. David's breath caught and he momentarily froze; he didn't think he was ready to give himself up in _that_ way to Jack just yet. It was all happening so fast, and he had only just found out Jack was attracted to him in some degree minutes ago.

“Not now, Jack,” David rushed out, words thick on his tongue. Jack's face fell. Did David even like him at all? Was this kiss just pity? Part of him didn't want to know.

“I-I'm sorry for being so forward, Davey. David. I just felt something overtake me and you _let_ me kiss you, and-”

“It's not about that,” David assured him. Jack felt a ripple of relief wash over his body and he knew what David meant; he didn't want to be close in that kind of a way just yet. And it was understandable- they'd taken the first leap minutes ago and it was insensible to take an even further leap right now.

But Jack _wanted_ David. He'd waited so long now that it hurt to look at David without feeling yearning in his chest and in his gut. He wanted to say _fuck it_ to waiting. He wanted to finally feel David's body up against his and hold him after they both climaxed. He always imagined David as a cuddler, a clinger. Even when they shared a bed back at David's folk’s place, he curled up to Jack’s side or pressed up next to him.

“I understand,” Jack said solemnly, trying to fight how much he wanted to flip David onto his back and kiss him with even more passion and want.

“It's not that I _don't_ want to be with you like that, because I do. I really do. I just don't want us to be half-drunk and fumbling around on our couch when we do,” David explained. He was itching for Jack to touch him and be inside him, he was even growing hard against Jack, but he wanted their first time to be special and not hurried and messy. He wasn't a sap, he just liked nice things. And sweet, tender Jack was a nice thing.

They shared a silent moment. Jack leaned up and kissed David softly before pulling back and saying “I love you” in a heartfelt manner, making David beam and blush in delight. David kissed Jack in a similar fashion and repeated “I love you, too” back to him, admiring the subtle pink tint on Jack's cheeks.

~~~~~

Over the months, Jack and David grew closer and more intimate; it wasn't uncommon for Jack to come up and steal a kiss from David when he came home from work or while David was studying. Jack would sometimes just sit and watch David as he did his reading and sketch him on the nearest paper he could find; David hung the little portraits all over his desk space. David joined Jack in his bed in the evenings to share warmth as they slept beside each other, and now they didn't have to squirm away from the other while they fell asleep.

(Jack only pretended not to feel David hard against his leg when he woke up some mornings.)

David had been trying to find the right time to tell Jack he was ready for them to be… _closer._ He'd been turning the thought over in his head for a few days, trying to find the right words, the right moment. He had exams coming up soon, and his better judgement told him that studying was necessary and that he could have Jack to himself after.

The nagging part of him, though, the part that wanted Jack inside and all over him, wanted Jack _now_ and no other time. Each night was getting colder and colder, and David found himself clinging tighter to Jack as they lay in bed, urging Jack to hold him closer. Being in Jack’s arms was almost enough for David to scream; never in a million years did he think that he and Jack would be like this: happy and in love. However, as he was pressed up against Jack, Jack’s distinct, manly scent filled his nose and made his mind wander. Jack smelled of sweat and coffee and bread because of his restaurant job; nothing like the paper and ink smell Jack carried before in his clothes, on his skin. Sometimes, David swore he could smell newspapers, fresh off the press on Jack’s skin, but the phantom smell drifted away before David could pin it down and it was lost.

(David only woke up some mornings hard, knowing that Jack was just being respectful and not saying a word to make David feel embarrassed.)

David persisted in keeping his… _thoughts_ about Jack to a minimum as he blew through his fall/winter semester exams, knowing that if he let them continue in the way he wanted them to then he'd lose all of his focus. Jack had been nothing but respectful to David, not pushing him too far when they began to heatedly kiss in their _(their-_ that thought alone made Jack's heart swell) bed when certain feelings began to multiply and manifest in more ways than one. One time, it was so unbearable that David grew hard as they kissed and Jack allowed him to rub up against his (muscled) thigh until he came, hot and sticky, in his long johns.

In that moment, Jack had never seen his David so wanton and perfect. He was breathless and his face was hot with blush and with exhaustion. When David tentatively curled up to Jack afterwards with an ease that could only be described as caution, Jack felt David _vibrating_ with pleasure and excitement because of his orgasm. It sent heat to Jack's groin, and he was utterly turned on by David's lack of wholesomeness in the situation. With soft lips, he kissed the top of David's head before ensuring the other boy was asleep and getting up quietly to go bring himself off in the other room to the thought of David grinding against his thigh.

Exams were over now, and the weather persisted in its path towards freezing temperatures. David had pent-up sexual energy from the past month, and he was sure Jack felt the same way. So one night, David took it upon himself to make a move on Jack and get what he wanted.

When Jack came home that evening, smelling of sweat and hard work, David felt a stirring in his lower belly. Jack came over and gave David his customary kiss like he always did, and removed his heavy outer layers that protected him from the cold. When Jack tried to turn away, David tugged on his shirt to pull him back so that they were facing each other.

“What's up, Davey?”

“I'm ready, Jack. I want-” David turned pink and loosed his hold on Jack. It made Jack grin to see David so flustered. “I want you.”

David's words sparked something inside of Jack’s abdomen. He pulled David closer so that their chests were touching. David bit his lip in anticipation and felt his heart race a thousand miles an hour. Jack brushed the hair out of David's eyes and chastely kissed his forehead. The gesture made David melt.

“You sure, Davey? You sure you want me to be your first, sweetheart?” Jack asked. He didn't want David to regret anything or to feel forced.

“Yes, Jack. God, I've never wanted anything so badly,” David chuckled as he rested his head against Jack’s chest. “And especially since you've just come from work. You smell like…”

“Like sweat and food?” Jack asked in amusement.

“You smell _manly,”_ David chuckled as he inhaled Jack’s scent, emanating from his collar. It felt like being transported. Jack laughed at him.

“Well, why don't we get you over to the bed, then?” Jack asked, tilting David's chin up. David smiled, his big hazel eyes smiling along with him. He let Jack push him towards the bed in their shared bedroom, all the while keeping their eyes locked on each other. When they arrived in their bedroom, they both began to strip, unbuttoning and pulling off their clothes in a frenzy, like they were racing to see who could be bare first.

Before long, the two boys stood bare before one another, their clothes and long johns heaped together on the floor. The frigid December air was unbearable, but the heat of arousal kept them warm. With eyes transfixed on Jack (and his very long, very hard cock), David laid on the bed with his legs spread wide for Jack to fit between.

“Come to bed, Jack,” David said, causing Jack to snap out of his lust-induced haze and obey David’s order. Jack crawled atop the bed and draped his body over David’s, covering him as they resumed their heated kisses. Jack pulled away to admire David's body, every little curve and dimple and scar. David flushed and preened for Jack, feeling the desire in his slight, fleeting touches. Jack felt gooseflesh rise beneath his fingers as he drug them up the sides of David's chest. Watching David arch his back in pleasure as Jack scraped his nail just below his nipple sent arousal straight to his cock.

“You sensitive there, Davey?” Jack said with a smirk. He began to kiss down David's chest, to his toned, quivering abdomen. David felt a shock go through him when Jack put his hand around his cock and give it a slow squeeze.

“Yes, Jack, please. Just touch me, I need it,” David moaned out as Jack stroked him with a languid, _perfect_ hand. “Need you more than anything.”

David gripped the bedsheets in his fists and curled his toes as Jack worked his cock. What he wasn't expecting, though, was for Jack to take him in his mouth and suck; David's hips bucked up sharply and he moaned in pleasure. Jack slightly gagged, but kept his mouth wrapped tight around David's cock. He moved his hand in time with his mouth, feeling David pull tighter on his hair.

“P-please, Jack, I'm too close, too close,” David gasped, trying to pull Jack off of his cock before he came. Jack popped off with a loud, wet noise and with a look of feigned innocence, batted his lashes at David.

David flexed his abdomen in anticipation when he saw Jack rise up on his knees. Jack put his large, rough hands onto David's knees and spread his legs wider, immediately making David preen. David felt so exposed and aroused in that moment, under Jack’s lust-blown green eyes.

“You sure you want this, Davey? I don't want you to regret it,” Jack said. David could hear the underlying worry in his voice.

“I would never regret it. I love you, and I wouldn't have come to you if I didn't want this,” David assured him. “Now get a move on, I've been waiting for you to get home all day and I'm positively _dying.”_

Jack chuckled in amusement. “Don't have to tell me twice,” Jack replied with his ever present smirk on his lips. David smiled up at him, his blush traveling to his pale neck and chest. “Do you have something to… To make it easier for you?”

“I got some olive oil,” David said as he sat up and reached down to grab the bowl from the floor next to the bed. “Will this work?”

David held the bowl for Jack as he dipped his fingers in the liquid and rubbed it between his fingers. “Oh, this'll work alright,” Jack assured him as he gathered more and took the bowl, placing it back on the ground with a light _clunk_. David looked to Jack for the go-ahead to lay back down, and Jack gently pressed his back to the bed. When David felt thick fingers against his hole, he jumped at the sensitivity.

“Breathe, David. Breathe, okay?” Jack said soothingly. “I don't want to hurt you,” he added with a worried tone. Jack had a reassuring hand on David's abdomen; he could feel every quiver and shaky breath David took as he slowly worked one digit inside of David. David shuddered, completely unused to the sensation. It was a little strange, but when Jack began to move his finger in and out, it became pleasurable.

“Can- can I get another, please?” David gasped, gripping the sheets. His breaths were coming in shudders now, and he could feel his dick leaking precome onto his stomach.

“Eager, aren't we?” Jack asked, slipping in a second finger and curling them upwards. David gasped in surprise; he hadn't expected Jack to do _that_ and for it to feel as arousing as it did.

“Feels… Feels so good, Jackie,” David praised as Jack angled his fingers deeper and brushed _something_ inside of him. Jack smiled to himself with pride; David only ever called him Jackie when he was particularly upset or when he was so happy he couldn't think the right way. Jack noticed that David kept meeting the movement of his fingers, which meant David may not last long.

“You think you're ready?” Jack asked, slowly removing his fingers. David nodded and said _“yes”_ under his breath, eager to move on and _really_ feel Jack inside him. He lay still as a stone as Jack took more oil and slicked himself up with it, hearing the groans in pleasure above him.

Jack looked below him at David, spread out and flushed pink and turned on to all hell, and felt his dick grow stiffer in his grip. Jack lowered his body down so that he was hovering over David and positioned himself with David's entrance. David could feel him down there, between his legs; he could feel Jack all around him, skin and breath and hair. The meeting of their bodies when Jack carefully pressed into him made David startle and cry out. Jack immediately stopped, cupping David's cheek and checking to see if he was alright.

“Davey, am I hurting you? Please, don't lie to me, I don't want to hurt you,” Jack asked, noticing David biting his lip and screwing up his eyes. David squirmed a bit, the sensation of Jack’s cock inside of him strangely pleasurable.

“Not hurting me… Just feels odd,” David responded, finally opening up his eyes to look up at Jack's green ones. “I'm fine, trust me,” he said, meeting Jack's lips in a kiss. Jack took that as a go-ahead to keep pressing into David, and he kept kissing him in order to distract him. When Jack was bottomed out, David's mouth fell open and he gasped. His blunt nails pressed into Jack's back as he tried to adjust to the feeling; he flexed a few times around the hot flesh inside of him, trying to get himself used to Jack's cock inside of his body. The more David squirmed, the more Jack just wanted to pound into him, fuck him into the mattress and make him scream his name so that all of New York heard it.

“Do it, Jack,” David said, looking right at Jack, his gaze piercing. “Don't make me beg.”

Jack cocked an eyebrow in amusement. He started out slow, reveling in David's walls, hot and tight around his cock, that seemed to form around him and be built just for him. David's body was maxed out and he felt like coming now. His whole body felt sensitive and over-pleasured, and it felt like if he even _touched_ his cock he would come.

“Faster?” Jack asked, holding himself up on his forearms. David adjusted his legs so that they were locked around Jack's hips; it sent Jack's cock deeper inside of him and made both boys gasp.

“Faster.”

Jack wasted no time in picking up his pace, rocking the bed back and forth as he thrust into David. Their moans and grunts filled the room as they came closer to their peaks, and David felt more precome leak out of him and onto his stomach.

“Want me to touch you?” Jack asked, drifting his hand close to David's cock.

“Please,” David begged, wanting to feel the release and pleasure that would flow through his body when he finally came. When Jack wrapped his hand around David's cock and squeezed gently, he felt David jolt and squeeze tightly around his cock, which made Jack grit his teeth to keep from coming too soon. Jack worked up a rhythm, keeping his hand in time with his thrusts, and soon, he had David whimpering and moaning his name.

“I'm close, I'm close,” David said over and over again; he could feel that coil in his stomach wind tight.

“Say my name, David,” Jack ordered as he thrust his hips full-force into David and made him groan in pleasure.

David met Jack's thrusts and pressed his nails so hard into Jack's shoulders that he broke skin. When Jack gave a powerful thrust, David felt himself tip over the edge and dissolve into pleasure. Come painted his stomach and Jack's hand, and he _screamed_ Jack's name as he hit that peak. Jack came a few thrusts later, cursing and crying out David's name. He spilled inside of David, and David moaned when he felt the hot liquid fill him. The pair of boys lay on the bed together, hot and sweaty and blissed out. Jack collapsed on top of David and nestled his head against David's warm skin and just breathed. David reached his hand up and brushed his fingers through Jack's damp, unkempt hair and kissed the top of his head.

“I love you, Davey,” Jack whispered into David's skin, pressing kisses to it.

“I love you, Jack,” David responded. He could barely move his limbs felt so heavy, not to mention Jack was sprawled on top of him.

Jack slowly pulled out of David and rolled onto his side next to him. David whined at the loss as he felt Jack's come spill slowly out of him. Jack reached to the floor and retrieved his undershirt, which he used to wipe the quickly-drying come off their bodies.

“How did it feel? In the end?” Jack asked as he cleaned between David's legs.

“It felt…” David trailed off, unable to find the words. “It felt so passionate and powerful. When you came, it felt like you were giving me some of you to have for myself.”

“Poetic, aren't we?” Jack chuckled as he tossed his shirt to the floor.

“You love it, Jack,” David blushed. He pulled the covers out from under him and slipped beneath them with Jack.

“You bet I do,” Jack grinned. He kissed David's forehead and mouth once more before collecting David into his arms and holding his body close. As David fell asleep, he could barely hear the hustle and bustle of the city outside- only the steady beating of Jack's heart.

  



End file.
